Macavity: The Mystery Cat by T. S. Eliot

Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw -
 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
 For when they reach the scene of crime - Macavity's not there!

 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
 And when you reach the scene of crime - Macavity's not there!
 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -
 But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!

 Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;
 You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
 His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;
 His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
 He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
 And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.

 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
 For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
 You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square -
 But when a crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there!

 He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
 And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's.
 And when the larder's looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
 Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke's been stifled,
 Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair -
 Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!

 And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty's gone astray,
 Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
 There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair -
 But it's useless to investigate - Macavity's not there!
 And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
 `It must have been Macavity!' - but he's a mile away.
 You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
 Or engaged in doing complicated long-division sums.

 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
 There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
 He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
 At whatever time the deed took place - MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
 And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
 (I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
 Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
 Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!

Lost and Found

My cat Felix goes out for walks and usually has to be called back home. I do this before going to bed every night. 

On the night of 11th March, I went a-calling Felix. He didn't come. I gave up and went to sleep figuring he'd come back in the morning in time to eat.

7 AM the next day, my dad woke me up asking me why I left the door open and that our youngest cat, Palani was gone. 

We searched and we searched. For four days. We put up notices. Told everyone we came across to keep an eye out. Enlisted friends to help search. Walked around yelling his name. Strained to hear

the sound of his bell if not his voice.

Nothing.

Monday morning he was spotted by the ironwalla peeking his head out of a pipe hole thing. 

View from my balcony

And so finally, finally, we got him home. And he slept the whole day off..

I think he was pretty happy to be home.. :)

My kingdom for a rupee

When I spend, I rarely need to think about it. Saving up is a task that requires oh-so-much willpower..  So I never thought of myself as the stingy type.

But then there was that day..

After a few long hours of traversing up and down town, I was thinking about how I should get home. The bus-stop was less than 5 minutes away but I was feeling so tired.. Nonetheless, I mustered up my strength and turned toward the bus-stop. But before I took more than 5 steps, my bus passed me at a crawling pace and halted some 3 feet from me due to traffic. I thanked my lucky stars and hopped on.

I handed the conductor a 10-rupee note and he gave me a Rs. 5 ticket and change. 

"Heyy, isn't the ticket from here 4 rupees?" I asked him. He cocked an eyebrow and said, "You got on before we reached the bus-stop, you know.."

And in my head I actually went, "Oh man! If I walked another 2 minutes, I could have saved myself that 1 buck!"

Now that's bad enough on its own. But there's an additional fact that makes it worse. The whole day, the 'traversing' I did from place to place was all by taxi. Put together I'm sure I spent more than Rs. 150 on taxi fare. 

And here I was cribbing about a buck.

So I've learnt I do have my stingy moments.. good to know

Names I've been called (on purpose, by mistake, whatever..)

Now, I realize I have a 'different' name. I do. So I never particularly mind when people decide to call me by petnames. But the things people come up with! Not least my mom..! It boggles the mind.. And they just keep on coming

• Aradrayyar arunachalam
• Asswoman
  
• Batli
  
• Bhadri
  
• Bharatmata
  
• Bharitimalaparzee
• Billivedya
  
• Blabby
  
• BM
  
• BM 6.5
• BMC
• BMP
  
• Brat
• Brattles
  
• Bratty
  
• Bratty-poo
  
• Cat
  
• Catty
  
• Catwoman
  
• Chakkar paani pakkar pakkar
  
• Chancellor
• Color
• Color malar
• Drama queen
  
• Dhoti damsel
• Expressionslos
  
• Felina
  
• Flaky
• Himalay Parbat
• Kootie
  
• Kootie-footie
  
• Lungi lady
• Maami
  
• Mahabharat
  
• Malada
  
• Malan
• Malaree
  
• Malli
  
• Mallu
  
• Mallu papu
• Manda
• Meowlar
  
• Mighty wonderwoman BM
  
• Mobo
  
• Mundu Malar
  
• Mylove
  
• Parvati Color
  
• Periyamaami
• Pipsqueak
  
• Saapad-rani
  
• Sammy
  
• Stoopy
  
• Talumbharsee
• The-lanky-one
  
• Veshti woman
• Wonderwoman

Coming soon to an elevator near you..!

I stepped out of an elevator today, and the person waiting outside shrieked. I looked at her but she just ran inside the elevator so i couldn't read her expression. Granted I hadn't combed my hair, but then I never do.. So do I really look scary enough to evoke shrieks of terror in people?!

My two cents (chaar anna?)..

It's only upto a certain point in life that others can dictate what is best for you (well, somebody's got to when you're too young to know better right??). But everyone comes to a point in life when you know your own mind and are capable of deciding for yourself whats right and wrong. Its at this point where you decide what (values, morals, ideas, pieces of wisdom, whatever you wanna call em), out of everything people have laid down in front of you, you'll actually keep, and what you'll toss. Even if you have a twin sibling, who's grown up with you, been influenced by the same things, who's to say you'll both adopt the same principles? 

Morals are important to us. And not just because people are beaten up, stoned, set alight, ostracized, threatened, etc in the name of morality. Even if we've never thought about it or refuse to admit it, we do need our own set of morals - things that we're cool with and those that we're not. Because at the end of the day, even if we don't care what the rest of the world and even God may think of us, we'll always care what we think of ourselves. Could you ever be happy, when you don't like yourself?

And so morality is personal. You decide your own boundaries. Set your own limits. 

There are of course, laws that have (for the most part) been laid down for peaceful co-existence of our species. Fail to abide by them and you're punished. Period. Obviously, whether murder is okay if you think its okay, is not something I would question. I stand by this: if you want to push the rules a little, do things society frowns on, I think its okay if you think its okay - as long as there aren't any casualties. Nobody should be hurt. Because you do not have the right to hurt anybody but yourself.

Go ahead that is, if you can take all the judging. And there will be judging. 'There's all kinds of people in the world' as the song goes, and the majority seem to think that if they think its wrong, it damn well is wrong! If they wouldn't do it, you sure shouldn't either! If they don't believe it, why the hell do you?? Everyone's got a different opinion and everyone's convinced what they think is all that matters. No room for different beliefs/opinions/ideas.. Judge judge judge..

Judgement is often unconscious. We don't even realise we're doing it. You usually just act on the verdict - you know you don't like that cheapo guy or that slutty girl or that annoying kid. For all you know though, someone out there thinks you're cheap/slutty/annoying. When you know you're not.. am I making sense here?!

Who are we to judge after all? Like good ol' Jesus said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." There's only one person each of us can judge and that's ourselves. For you're the only one, who knows what is okay and what isn't for you. 

So, to each, his own. You live your life, I'll live mine. You don't judge me, I won't judge you..

Ha! 

Good luck with that..