Macavity: The Mystery Cat by T. S. Eliot

Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw -
 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
 For when they reach the scene of crime - Macavity's not there!

 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
 And when you reach the scene of crime - Macavity's not there!
 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -
 But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!

 Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;
 You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
 His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;
 His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
 He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
 And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.

 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
 For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
 You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square -
 But when a crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there!

 He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
 And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's.
 And when the larder's looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
 Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke's been stifled,
 Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair -
 Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!

 And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty's gone astray,
 Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
 There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair -
 But it's useless to investigate - Macavity's not there!
 And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
 `It must have been Macavity!' - but he's a mile away.
 You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
 Or engaged in doing complicated long-division sums.

 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
 There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
 He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
 At whatever time the deed took place - MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
 And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
 (I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
 Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
 Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!

Lost and Found

My cat Felix goes out for walks and usually has to be called back home. I do this before going to bed every night. 

On the night of 11th March, I went a-calling Felix. He didn't come. I gave up and went to sleep figuring he'd come back in the morning in time to eat.

7 AM the next day, my dad woke me up asking me why I left the door open and that our youngest cat, Palani was gone. 

We searched and we searched. For four days. We put up notices. Told everyone we came across to keep an eye out. Enlisted friends to help search. Walked around yelling his name. Strained to hear

the sound of his bell if not his voice.

Nothing.

Monday morning he was spotted by the ironwalla peeking his head out of a pipe hole thing. 

View from my balcony

And so finally, finally, we got him home. And he slept the whole day off..

I think he was pretty happy to be home.. :)

My kingdom for a rupee

When I spend, I rarely need to think about it. Saving up is a task that requires oh-so-much willpower..  So I never thought of myself as the stingy type.

But then there was that day..

After a few long hours of traversing up and down town, I was thinking about how I should get home. The bus-stop was less than 5 minutes away but I was feeling so tired.. Nonetheless, I mustered up my strength and turned toward the bus-stop. But before I took more than 5 steps, my bus passed me at a crawling pace and halted some 3 feet from me due to traffic. I thanked my lucky stars and hopped on.

I handed the conductor a 10-rupee note and he gave me a Rs. 5 ticket and change. 

"Heyy, isn't the ticket from here 4 rupees?" I asked him. He cocked an eyebrow and said, "You got on before we reached the bus-stop, you know.."

And in my head I actually went, "Oh man! If I walked another 2 minutes, I could have saved myself that 1 buck!"

Now that's bad enough on its own. But there's an additional fact that makes it worse. The whole day, the 'traversing' I did from place to place was all by taxi. Put together I'm sure I spent more than Rs. 150 on taxi fare. 

And here I was cribbing about a buck.

So I've learnt I do have my stingy moments.. good to know

Names I've been called (on purpose, by mistake, whatever..)

Now, I realize I have a 'different' name. I do. So I never particularly mind when people decide to call me by petnames. But the things people come up with! Not least my mom..! It boggles the mind.. And they just keep on coming

• Aradrayyar arunachalam
• Asswoman
  
• Batli
  
• Bhadri
  
• Bharatmata
  
• Bharitimalaparzee
• Billivedya
  
• Blabby
  
• BM
  
• BM 6.5
• BMC
• BMP
  
• Brat
• Brattles
  
• Bratty
  
• Bratty-poo
  
• Cat
  
• Catty
  
• Catwoman
  
• Chakkar paani pakkar pakkar
  
• Chancellor
• Color
• Color malar
• Drama queen
  
• Dhoti damsel
• Expressionslos
  
• Felina
  
• Flaky
• Himalay Parbat
• Kootie
  
• Kootie-footie
  
• Lungi lady
• Maami
  
• Mahabharat
  
• Malada
  
• Malan
• Malaree
  
• Malli
  
• Mallu
  
• Mallu papu
• Manda
• Meowlar
  
• Mighty wonderwoman BM
  
• Mobo
  
• Mundu Malar
  
• Mylove
  
• Parvati Color
  
• Periyamaami
• Pipsqueak
  
• Saapad-rani
  
• Sammy
  
• Stoopy
  
• Talumbharsee
• The-lanky-one
  
• Veshti woman
• Wonderwoman

Coming soon to an elevator near you..!

I stepped out of an elevator today, and the person waiting outside shrieked. I looked at her but she just ran inside the elevator so i couldn't read her expression. Granted I hadn't combed my hair, but then I never do.. So do I really look scary enough to evoke shrieks of terror in people?!